Integrity

I had an interesting experience during my workout today. I don't know whose idea it was to plan 5-minute planks as part of the conditioning routine, but when I came in and looked at the board, I knew that I would struggle to complete that part when the time came.

And I was right.

Within thirty seconds of holding the plank, I wanted to quit. I started to find things to take my mind off how much I hate planking, and then I thought I'd try and shave off some effort by maybe relaxing my form, resting a bit.

I needed that rest during those five minutes, but as I was trying to find the resolve to finish the round, the words of Job popped into my mind, "Til I die I will not remove mine integrity from me... I hold fast, and will not let it go."

I latched onto that statement and used it to get me through the last ninety seconds.

For those who don't know, Job is a guy from the Bible who got a pretty raw deal. He loses everything: his family, his friends, his health, his wealth. We're talking boils, death, famine, theft, poverty... you can name what this guy had to lose, and he lost it. After he's lost it all, people try to tell him to leave his convictions behind. "You deserve to get angry," they say, "What have you got to lose?" He refuses and stays true to what he believes.

That's integrity. It's being honest and real with yourself, sticking to your code even when it sucks, and never backing down, even when the fire is burning and the flood is rising.

I was tempted later in the workout to cut my run short (no one would know, I was sore, I was tired, I felt like I deserved to rest, I wanted to be done) but instantly, I remembered again those words, "Till I die, I will not remove mine integrity from me." No one would know -- except me. I'd know. I'd know I didn't live up to my potential, but I'd also know I didn't stick with my expectations for myself. A small thing, but as I mentioned last time, small things become big things.



Integrity. That means that when I say something is important to me, I act like it is important to me. All the time. Every time.

Obviously, I'm not perfect at always following through on the things that matter to me. But I can practice following through on a daily basis to the point that not following through would seem like a foreign concept to me. The idea of giving up or quitting or not bringing my best effort won't sneak in like it did today.

"I hold fast, and will not let it go."