One Year

Have you ever taken yourself by surprise?

I've put off writing this post because in the last few months, I've felt like I haven't made any documentable progress.

But as I was reflecting this morning, I realized that's just not true.

In the past three months, I've successfully done a full pull-up without a band. I can do 15 pushups (real pushups, not on my knees or elevated on a bench). I've increased my bench press max weight. I ran a 7:15 minute mile. I ran 5 miles in under 50 minutes. I've somehow become really good at rowing, which still shocks me every time I sit down and row.

I surprise myself every time I go to the gym. I'm amazed I can go further without quitting. I'm surprised I have the stamina to work faster. I'm stunned when I need to switch out my 35-pound dumbbell for a 40.

A year ago, I looked at the people who could rip out ten burpees no problem and I felt so far removed from them, and this morning, it was weird to think that maybe I'm one of those people. A year ago, I remember laughing every time Nick or Jeff explained a new exercise (You want me to do what, exactly?). Over the box burpees. Double box jumps. Carrying sandbags. Explosive pushups. A plank for five minutes. Maybe the most amazing thing is not that I can do these things, but that I have stopped believing that I can't.

In the last 3 months, I have not lost a single pound. My weight goes up and down a couple pounds depending on the day, and this fact was holding me back from posting. I don't have a stunning progress picture to show.

But pictures don't show the real success.

The real success is that I truly believe my body is good, regardless of how it looks on the outside.
The real success is that I'm way stronger than I used to be.
The real success is that I've met people who make me better as a person.
The real success is that I have improved my sense of self-worth.
The real success is that I've started to become more okay with failing as long as I keep going anyway.
The real success is that I've stopped talking negatively about my body.
The real success is that I've stopped believing there are things I can't do.
The real success is that I believe I'm valuable as a team member, as a person, and as a mom.

A year ago, I said I'd give this a try. Trying turns into doing, doing turns into becoming, and becoming turns into success. Over and over and over.